What day is it?

Chloe Noelle Carter

I am so completely sleep deprived I don't actually know what day it is. I know it's the day of the Superbowl, and that yesterday was Groundhog Day, and that Chloe has a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, but I don't really know what the date is or day of the week. I know all of the aformentioned things solely because I watch TV 24 hours a day. Literally. Chloe and I have been sleeping in the livingroom since she came home because a) her oxygen tubing won't stretch any further than that and b) her pack and play won't fit through the door to the nursery. Let me rewind a bit since I haven't blogged since August....

In September my pregnancy got a little higher-risk and the doc put me on "light duty." Light duty didn't do much, as I landed in the hospital on October 6th with contractions. The doctors thought I was faking (I really think they did) and decided to keep me for observation. After a few hours of observing my very REAL contractions, they gave me a few steroid shots, put me on magnesium sulfate and told me to think positive and keep my baby in (in so many words). I was trapped for 3 days in a crackerbox room with blurred vision. Everything tasted like minty metal. It was miserable, but not more miserable than a preterm delivery.

Which is what happened next. My body kicked it into high gear and decided to have the baby at 27 weeks, 1 day gestation. The doctor opted for an emergency C-section because the baby was breach. I think all babies are some type of breach when they only weigh a pound...they have alot of room to swim. On October 9, 2007, Baby Girl was born. She weighed only 1 pound, 13 ounces and was 13 1/4 inches long. The Neonatologist (aka Neo) told me not to expect to hear a cry. He went into great detail before the baby was born telling me what to expect and what not to expect. I didn't expect to hear a cry, but i did. She let out a quick yelp before they intubated her. The nurse brought her down to my level and told me to give her a kiss on the head. I could barely see her head and was actually afraid to kiss her. She looked sick -- and too tiny.

Then began our 103 day journey. I kept a detailed journal about the events that took place in the NICU, but I'll spare you all the details. Most of you already know the story....Chloe was very, very sick at birth. She was put on a high-pressure ventilator that took 420 breaths a minute for her. I couldn't hold her until October 22. She had a heart-valve issue that was supposed to resolved with medication but didn't, so on Halloween she had surgery. Her lungs were very, very sick. She developed several infections while in the NICU -- staph (twice), group B strep (twice). She wasn't able to eat for weeks -- and every time they'd try to feed her she'd get another infection, so they'd stop her feeds again (and again, and again). Around Thanksgiving she got 2 infections at the same time and developed pneumonia. Her body started to shut down and she gained a pound of fluid overnight, mostly in her head and trunk. They put her on morphine and versed. She did not look like my baby -- her face was so swollen she couldn't close her mouth. Her body was basically shutting down. The doctors tried to act optimistic but I could tell by the nurses reactions that our baby was very, very ill. No one would make eye-contact with me in the hallway.....one of the main Neo's told me that we were "in his prayers." The doctor called me at 11:00 p.m. and told me that my baby was on 100% oxygen and asked if I wanted to come down to the hospital. I thought I was saying good-bye to my baby. That was how bad it was.

Somehow, some way, she pulled through. They were able to extabate her after almost 10 weeks on the ventilator. I had never seen her without tape across her face to hold the vent tube in place... They placed her on Cpap and we crossed our fingers. After 10 days of Cpap, they were able to put her on just a nasal cannula. She got to drink her first bottle on Christmas Eve. She improved every day. I was too afraid to feel good about her progress, because each time she had previously improved -- she got sick and she took 20 steps back. At the end of December they started talking about Chloe actually coming HOME. No one had every really talked about her coming home until then.

On January 19th, her 103rd day of life, Chloe got to come home. I am SO grateful to the nurses, doctors, specialists, etc. that worked on Chloe. It would take days to post about Chloe's wonderful nurses... they really saved Chloe and I!

She's on oxygen, an apnea monitor, multiple medications and breathing treatments, but I am so happy to sit here at home, with my baby....because I really thought that this day would never come.

And now I'm up to date -- Chloe has been home now for 2 weeks...She finally learned how to cry (she hadn't really cried before due to being on the vent for so long). She will be 4 months old next Saturday....which is amazing to me. She's still very tiny -- 6 lbs 5 oz or so.... She looks like a newborn but acts a little more mature. Her neck is very strong and she can hold up her head and look around the room, which seems to be her favorite thing to do.

We see the pulmonologist next week to see how her oxygen saturation is... I'm SO hoping that we can discontinue the oxygen, but we'll see. She sounds good and is breathing really well. The oxygen isn't as big of a hassle as I thought it would be.

So that's up to around today or so..... I'll try to keep this updated as much as possible so that I can keep a record of her first year of life and so that I don't forget to update all those I want to update on Chloe's progress.