Mother's day...a year ago.

The week of Mother's day last year started off great. I went running at the park down the street and was really feeling good about my workout routine. We had good plans for the summer... an Alaskan cruise, lots of concerts and trips with the girls. The day after Mother's day I had a conversation with my sister on the phone -- I explained to her how I thought my cycle had gone crazy...and she said, "Mandy...you're pregnant."

Wait, what? How in the world is that possible? I met with the first gyno a day later and they confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. They were almost as surprised as I was to see the ultrasound above. I asked the sono-technician to label what she saw. BABY and IUD.

I didn't even know it was possible, but it is. They usually try to take the device out (collective ouch) but in my case, I was too far along to have it removed. Every doctor insisted on trying until I told them I didn't want anymore trying. I'd just keep the IUD and hope for the best.

The best turned out to be several doctors appointments, several tests, and several ultrasounds. The doctor was afraid I would deliver early due to the IUD -- but the placement of it was just so that it didn't seem to interfere with the baby, although she did have IUGR (growth restriction) -- I even posted about it when I found out, which now seems sort of comical to me... I feared having an uber-small baby and that's exactly what I had.

A year ago I didn't know what was to come. I was hoping for the best not knowing that we'd spend 100+ days at Banner Desert Hospital. When Chloe was born and I was thrown into that world, all I wanted was to fast-forward our lives...to 6 months later. 6 months sounded safe and out of the hospital. For a while I wasn't sure if we'd BE out of the hospital in 6 months' time. It seemed like it would never end. I became resentful of the mothers whose child only had to be in the NICU for a month. A MONTH is such a long time to be there and I was resenting these mothers (shame on me).

So here we are...........Mother's day a year later. What an incredible year. What an amazing experience. I shouldn't have been pregnant, but I was. My body shouldn't have stayed pregnant, but it did. And now? We are 7 months out and I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl who is home with me. My heart goes out to all of the mothers in the NICU this year for Mother's day. Every holiday we spent was difficult, but Mother's day must be the hardest.